My Manipulative Ex-Husband Put Me By Divorce Torture — And I Barely Survived

After I was within the throes of my divorce, I keep in mind telling my therapist that I assumed my soon-to-be ex had hacked into my calendar. It appeared like virtually instantly after each appointment, he’d ship me a textual content or e-mail with some new otherworldly degree of lies designed to upset me. It at all times occurred inside minutes of my leaving the therapist’s workplace. My solely clarification was that he was monitoring my appointments after which, proper when he thought I is likely to be feeling good, intentionally did one thing to destroy my temper once more. 

I could also be mistaken — it’s potential he simply had supremely unhealthy timing — however to today, three years later, I nonetheless suppose it’s true. I’ve good purpose to suppose so, too. He ended our marriage by randomly disappearing in a single day to maneuver in along with his secret mistress whereas I used to be on a piece journey. After which he did every little thing in his energy to make my life a nightmare, through the divorce and for greater than a 12 months after. As to why I nonetheless do not know; he acquired the divorce he needed. However, given his previous habits, it solely made sense he would have stooped to that degree. At first, I used to be affected by his actions. All the pieces that occurred catapulted me again into despair and psychological anguish. He began sturdy, too — after he disappeared, he filed for divorce however lied about his deal with on the paperwork. He lied once more about his deal with on the divorce papers themselves.

RELATED: To The Abusive Ex Who Brought on My PTSD

He skipped courtroom dates as a result of he simply “didn’t really feel like coming.” In the meantime, he was spreading hateful rumors about me on-line, threatening to steal my home from me, after which turning round to inform me he wanted cash for some physician appointment, and perhaps we may reconcile if I helped him out. I had by no means seen so many lies coming from one individual. Ever. He may most likely win an award for it. The head of his achievements got here a couple of months after we had been formally divorced. I turned on my cellphone after remedy to see 5 or 6 emails from my medical health insurance. My ex was making an attempt to vary the password on the account, however it didn’t happen to him that the password change request emails had been despatched to me since I arrange the account within the first place.

I referred to as the insurance coverage firm to determine what was happening, they usually informed me he had been calling and was making an attempt to acquire and alter a bunch of knowledge. It was their skilled opinion that he was trying to commit insurance coverage fraud with my info. They instructed me to name the police and report the incident to the FBI. By no means in my life did I think about I must report somebody to the FBI, not to mention somebody I as soon as cared for. I don’t know if something ever got here of that report (the FBI doesn’t comply with up with you), however it was some time after that earlier than one thing occurred with my ex once more, so I assume it made a minimum of somewhat little bit of a distinction.

RELATED: My Husband Of 6 Years Ghosted Me, Stole My Cat, And Moved To A Completely different State

Should you’re presently caught on this identical hateful cycle, I can let you know it does get higher. Ultimately, your ex will tucker themselves out and transfer on with their life. And in your finish, the dying vestiges of tried psychological and emotional torture will begin to be humorous. You could have to make it humorous to manage, however it is going to in some unspecified time in the future elicit actual laughter. I did that to start with, in an try to show the entire thing right into a joke. Throughout these obnoxious occasions, I began a Fb submit sequence referred to as “Chronicles of the Ex-Husband.” Each time he did one thing new and ridiculous, I’d make a brand new submit detailing what occurred. Just like the time I heard by a good friend he had began taking German classes, after which every week later observed my e-mail had been used — mysteriously — to enroll in about ten completely different German courting web sites.

RELATED: How Snooping On My Ex-Husband Helped Me Survive Our Divorce

After each submit I made, my associates and I shared a second of shock and ultimately turned the feedback right into a thread of jokes and gifs. And let me let you know, it helped. Not solely was I capable of see how many individuals had been there for me, however I used to be additionally capable of begin seeing these incidents for the ridiculousness they had been. My “Chronicles of the Ex-Husband” episodes began occurring much less and fewer till they ultimately petered out with one final submit in mid-2020. My canine wanted to go to the vet for his coronary heart murmur. I’d moved to a brand new metropolis through the pandemic, so I needed to get the information despatched over from the vet my ex and I used for our pets. The vet emailed them to me instantly, and I took a glance over them to ensure it was all so as.

Think about my shock after I noticed on the backside of the primary web page, in daring crimson letters, a notice saying to not launch the information to me as a result of my ex had referred to as and informed them I used to be a “safety threat.” This man — sorry, this little one — particularly made a name to the vet to attempt to screw me over. He deserted me in the course of the evening, stole a bunch of my stuff, lied on courtroom paperwork, unfold rumors about me … and claimed I used to be the safety threat? The tentacles of his delusion went method deeper than I assumed. It was the crowning second of a relationship and divorce overwhelmed by gaslighting and emotional abuse. However at that time, after every little thing I’d been by, I assumed it was hysterical. The quantity of laughter that burst out after I noticed it’s nonetheless echoing in my home as we speak.

RELATED: My Ex-Husband Brainwashed Me

Jennifer Billock is an award-winning author and best-selling creator. She’s been revealed in The New York Instances, Smithsonian, Wired, and Nationwide Geographic Traveler.